Guest Post By Gabby Hatchetfish
The hatchetfish spends the day in deep water and rises closer to the surface at night to feed.It has light organs on its upper surface to attract small squid and other invertebrates.The hatchetfish also flashes its light organs on and off to communicate with others of its kind.
SCOX Is Deficient And Bankrupt
Right now, as I type this, the Yahoo! Finance page for SCO has a caution sign and the text: “SCOX is deficient and bankrupt.” We’ve all been thinking it for ages, but this is the first time I’ve seen an “official” source say so. Wonder what that’s all about?
Guest Post By Gabby Goalsgoalsand More Goals
At school we divide the school year into four quarters.In each quarter we have a reading goal.A reading goal is a set of points.This quarter my goal is 12 points.I’m at 11 points 95% of my goal.I can’t wait untill I make my goal!
It's Been A Long Time Since I Rock And Rolled
It’s been a long time since I rock and rolled,
It’s been a long time since I did the stroll.
Ooh, let me get it back, let me get it back,
Let me get it back, baby, where I come from.
We were going to be rock legends, but it didn’t quite turn out like that.
I realized a few days ago that my kids had never heard Led Zeppelin, and that seemed almost criminally negligent. I rushed out to get “Zoso”, played it while I drove them to school, and dropped them off just as “Black Dog” was finishing. Then “Rock & Roll” kicked in and I thought about my best friend in high school, Rob. He’s writing graphic novels these days and I’m wrangling bits. He’s at least managed to get himself recorded, but the piano in my living room is about as close as I’ll come to playing in front of an audience again.
Don’t get me wrong — I wouldn’t trade the life I have for anything. I’m happy, and as far as I know, so is Rob. It’s just that we were supposed to be on the cover of Rolling Stone by now.
Guest Post By Gabby The Fall Festival
There was a Fall Festival at school today I first went to the sign that said
sandy candy.We got a tube and filled it with sand-like candy.It was differnt colors.Next, we went to a table with hair spray and tatoos.My hair was:red,
blue, and green.I had a candy corn tatoo that washed off like the rest did.
Now, we went to a sign that said bobbing for doughnuts.Gage bit into a plain
doughnut Ashley bit into a choclate doughnut and Hannah bit into a plain
doughnut and I bit into a choclate doughnut.We coud’nt use are hand and
they were hanging from strings.Now we went to a sign that said stuff a
scarecrow.There was a shirt, pants, and a sack that looked a face.We stuffed them with newspaper.Now, we went a table where we could make a
halloween sack.I put cat stamps all over mine.
Guest Post By Gabby My Morning
When my alarm went off at 7:00 I got out and landed on my sister, Ari.She
fell out of bed and I fell to.I got into my clothes and went out of my room to
get breakfest.When I was done I brushed my teeth and hair.Now I could play.But I got on the computer instead.
Scam Calls From Card Services
I just got a phone call from a “private caller” (that is, with no caller ID information) and heard a recording from “Card Services”, who claimed that my credit card’s interest rate was about to go up and to press 9 if i wanted to lower it to 6.9%. Being bored, I pressed it.
Caller: Hi, would you like us to lower your interest rates?
Me: Who are you with?
Caller: Well, would you be interested?
Me: Who are you with?
Caller: We are Card Services.
Me: So, you’re not affiliated with my bank?
Caller: slams the phone down in my ear
I guess they weren’t.
So, if you also get a call from Card Services, remember that it’s 99.9% likely that they’re scammers and that it’s morally OK to mess with them. If you want to have fun and waste their time and otherwise abuse them, reply here to tell us what happened so we can all enjoy it.
Update on July 30, 2009:
By request of a letter from the Rubinis’ attorney, I have removed their home addresses from comments. Please do not re-post such information. Thanks.
Update on August 11, 2009:
The Rubinis issued this statement via their lawyer:
Clear Financial Solutions does not engage in or perform any telemarketing activities. Any complaints or allegations to the contrary are false and without merit.
Guest Post By Gabby Jake Is Crazy
My brother Jake, is crazy!In baseball he ran with his jaw open and his arms
in the air!He whacked my dad with a bat!He even says funny things like
the"Cheese Cake Factory"He said"Mabye they surve cheese cake!“Jake is
crazy!
Guest Post By Gabby Dad Is Funny
Dad is funny.He played a trick on my sister.He says somthing like “Guess
what?“Ari would say"what?“Dad would say"Chickenbut!”
I Guess I Do Really Hate Shopping At Wal Mart
Jen and I were in Kansas City for a convention when Jen decided to exchange some newborn-size diapers for a larger size. Unfortunately, we’d left the receipt at home (because we don’t make a habit of carrying around receipts for every bit of baby gear we take with us) and that completely flummoxed the Wal-Mart staff.
When all was said and done, I had to give them my driver’s license so that we could make the 26-cent swap between two unopened, undamaged packages of baby diapers. I gritted my teeth and managed not to say anything that would get me banned from the store, although I was so tense that I signed the exchange form hard enough to shred it.
And this is why I think that I probably now officially hate shopping at Wal-Mart. We weren’t trying to exchange a plasma TV or a box of donuts. We just wanted to trade up to a larger size of diapers, and this ended up requiring my driver’s license and a signature.
What I should have done — and what I’d love to see everyone doing — is to ask politely for a printed copy of their corporate privacy policy. After all, some stranger is entering my personal identification information into a computer for some unknown purpose, and I think I have the right to know why they’re doing it, how long they plan to keep it, and what their policy and mechanisms are for protecting it in the meantime.
Besides, even if I never read the thing, I’ll know that it cost Wal-Mart far more than $0.26 to print and hand-deliver the document to me. Sometimes just the satisfaction of knowing that their stupid, anti-customer policy costs them more than they made off the transaction makes it a little more tolerable.
Yam No More
Back in my Amiga-using days, I had an email program called YAM. It was excellent and ubiquitous; almost everyone used it. It had three unique features:
- You could configure it to embed small bits of personal information in outgoing emails, such as your birthday.
- When it saw these bits in email that other people sent to you, it could add the information to your address book.
- It had an option to automatically send a “happy birthday” email to everyone in your address book on their birthday.
I was active on a lot of mailing lists, so my address book was pretty full with people I’d hardly met. I sent them happy birthday emails each year, and on my birthday, it was fun to get flooded with a few hundred little messages from well-wishers I didn’t know except maybe from some obscure discussion group.
I had the sad realization a few days ago that for the first time ever since I started using YAM, I didn’t receive a single email from it this year. Not one of my old friends still does this. While it’s not very big in the scheme of this, it still marks the sad end to a happy era.
My Ecco Shoes Are Junk
I bought a nice looking pair of Ecco shoes a couple years ago. Actually, they were probably the nicest shoes I’ve bought before or since. I don’t have a reason to wear dress shoes often, but when I did, they looked nice and I was proud to have them.
About a year ago I noticed that the soles were starting to come apart. I wrote to Ecco to ask for advice, got a short reply along the lines of “we received your message and will get back to you soon”, then nothing. As of about a month ago, they finished literally rotting off — the soles were disintegrating in big, soft rubbery chunks — and my mother-in-law did me a favor by having them re-soled. I wrote again to Ecco to tell them what happened but this time I haven’t gotten a reply of any kind.
I will never buy their shoes again. They look great but were completely destroyed and unusable after wearing them perhaps 10 times to church, job interviews, and other extremely low-abuse situations. What’s worse is that they couldn’t be bothered to respond to customer concerns (although I admit that my second message to them wasn’t quite as polite and deferential as the first). I guess they just don’t really care about quality or customer satisfaction.
There is now a gallery of pictures of rotten Ecco shoes that have been sent in by readers.
Winning By Any Means
I was walking through our house when I saw Jake. He was watching me stone-faced with eyes open wide and bugged out. In our house, that means one thing — staring contest. I returned the stare as I walked nearer and bent closer to his level.
Closer.
Closer.
Until he reached up and poked me in the eyeball and yelled, “you blinked! I win!”
Yeah, he got me: I definitely blinked. I think I can still see his fingerprint on my cornea.
Becoming Unrooted
So, I forgot my root password. For non-technical types, that’s pretty much the key to the kingdom when you need to get full access to a computer, or install new software, or to make backups, or to fix something in an emergency. I use this little program called “sudo” all the time that lets you do most of the same things except with your own password. I guess it’d been so long since I’d actually needed that root password that it just slipped my mind. Still, I felt pretty dumb and resigned myself to coming up with a new one and resetting it on all the computers I use.
So, this morning something came up where I really needed that password, and without thinking I picked up a keyboard and mashed it out. It worked. “Oh joy,” I though. “I’ll just do it again and pay attention to what I’m typing.” Except that try as I might, I just can’t type that password if I’m consciously thinking about it.
This has not improved my outlook on an upcoming birthday in the slightest.
baby.lisp
In our household, a baby just ain’t a baby without an appropriately geeky birth announcement. And since Nick is mostly functional — I mean, he can’t exactly type yet — this one is in Lisp. Share and enjoy!
; This program forks(). That should be plenty for a few years' entertainment
; Copyright (C) 2007 Kirk & Jennifer Strauser
; This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
; it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
; the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or
; (at your option) any later version.
; However, the output of this particular instance shall remain
; exclusively licensed to the authors for a period of up to eighteen
; years.
; $Id: baby.lisp 4 2007-09-05 23:18:12Z kirk $
(require :sb-posix)
(defvar *birthtime* (encode-universal-time 0 20 1 1 9 2007))
(defvar *age* (- (get-universal-time) *birthtime*))
(defun hello ()
(format t "Hello, world! My name is Nicholas Arthur Strauser and this is ~
my ~:r day!~%" (ceiling (/ *age* 86400))))
(defun labor ()
(cond
((zerop (sb-posix:fork)) (format t "Ouch!~%"))
(t (hello))))
(defun wait ()
(cond
((< *age* 0)
(sleep (- *age*))
(setf *age* 0)
(labor))
(t (hello))))
(wait)
Vapor Rises
Dan Feather, aka “Vapor”, died today after he lost control of his motorcycle. Dan was remarkable for his quiet decency. There were many reasons to like him, but above all else, he was a good man.
Goodbye, friend. You leave behind many people who held you in high regard.
Rest well.
Down To The Uptown
As our anniversary dinner tradition, Jen and I drive to Stanton to eat at the Uptown Brewery. Each year, we ask each ourselves if we really want to go all the way down there. Each year, we decide that we’ll have a nice meal and that it’s not that far anyway. Each year, we wonder why we don’t go there more often. I don’t want to disparage any of the wonderful local places, but it really is true: the best restaurant in Norfolk is in Stanton.
The building itself is interesting and the service is always top-notch, but it’s the food that brings us back. We started with the seafood-stuffed mushrooms and moved to amazingly good tomato bisque and cream of chicken noodle soup. The entrees, though, were exceptional. Jen loved the seafood crepes, which were very similar to the stuffed mushrooms but so large that she could only eat one of the two. I ordered the steak Johannesburg, which is a thick cut of angus beef covered with chopped lobster in Madeira cream sauce, and remembered why it’s my usual.
I’m not a food critic, which you can pretty easily tell by my previous attempts at describing meals, nor have I read many restaurant reviews. I don’t know all the words I should use to tell you why you absolutely must take the trip to Stanton to see for yourself. Just trust me on this one, OK? Go. You’ll be glad you did.
Negotiations With Western Digital
We bought a Western Digital external hard drive for Jen’s computer while we were in Omaha. I hooked it up when we got home and it was dead on arrival. I called for an RMA (“return material authorization” — basically permission to return it to the manufacturer) and got the replacement a few days later. Unfortunately, they didn’t include a pre-paid shipping label to return the defective part, and the customer service guy wasn’t too keen on giving me one. I wasn’t asking for anything unreasonable or that they just justifiably deny, and here’s how I got one anyway:
CS guy: It’s not our policy to give out shipping labels. It’s the customer’s responsibility to pay for shipping.
Me: It’s not this customer’s policy to pay for shipping products that were dead on arrival.
CS guy: I see your point, but that’s not something we normally do.
Me: OK, but I’d sure appreciate it. I mean, I did you a favor by calling you instead of returning this to the store. I didn’t know I’d have to pay for it.
CS guy: Well, we don’t do a very good job of telling you that on our website. I can ask my supervisor, but I don’t think he’ll do it.
Me: I’ll hold.
[5 minutes go by]
CS guy: Sir, this isn’t something we do, but since these are special circumstances, we’ll do it just this one time. You’ll get it within a week.
Me: Thanks! Oh, and can you extend my deadline for returning the broken one by a few days since I don’t have the shipping label yet?
CS guy: (sighs) Yeah, OK. You can have an extra 10 days.
Note two important things: first, I was polite; second, I was assertive. Failure on either of those would have wrecked the whole deal.
Electronic Survival Kit
So, you’ve made a survival kit to keep you alive until the good guys come to rescue you. Well, now you’re starting life over in a new place. These are some of the things you might want to bring along.
References
How To Carry It
Electronically
Our primary goal is to make our data as easy to access as possible. This is critically important when you don’t know what kind of machine you may have to use to access your data. You might have a beautiful Mac or Unix workstation at home, but if you were at home and could use your computer, then the rest of this would be pointless. Regardless of what you normally use, expect to be using a Windows box to access it.
First, I highly recommend that you combine your files into a single Zip file. That’s because it’s much easier to manage one file than 100.
Second, and this is critically important, use an encryption program to put as password on the zip file! You’re going to be putting a lot of sensitive information in there, so don’t leave it out for any twit to find if you misplace your copy. I highly, highly recommend GNU Privacy Guard, or GPG. A package of it for Windows is available from http://www.gpg4win.org. Under no circumstances should you trust the lame “encryption” (bah!) that comes with some storage media like USB keychain drives, or such as is built into WinZip. I mean it! Use a stand-alone encryption program.
Don’t forget to put a copy of the installer on your backup media so that you’ll be able to unlock your data when you need it!
Third — and this is very important — create the zip file on your computer’s hard drive, then encrypt it, and finally move the encrypted file onto your backup media. You should never copy the unencrypted data onto that media! Even if you delete it afterward, it may be possible to recover the information.
By the same token, don’t decrypt the zipfile onto your backup media. Copy it onto the hard drive of the computer you’re using to access it, then decrypt it and unzip it from there. Of course, if you’re using a very public computer such as a rental at an Internet cafe, then that may actually be the worse option. Trust your own judgment, and let rampant paranoia be your guide.
Physically
A floppy ain’t gonna cut it. Your encrypted zipfile will probably be much larger than will fit on a floppy disk, unless your life is so simple that this is just an academic exercise. Your four main options, in the order I’d recommend them, are:
- USB “keychain” drive
- Pros: they’re durable and can be reused thousands of times. They’re also much smaller than a CD-R.
- Cons: fewer computers have USB slots than CD-ROM drives, although that’s changing as old machines are replaced — almost all new computers have them.
- CD-R
- Pros: blank CD-Rs are cheap, most people have a CD burner (so you probably already have the equipment to make one), and almost every computer has a CD-ROM device to read it. Also, CD-Rs can hold a relatively huge amount of data for pennies.
- Cons: every time you update your data, you have to throw away the old copy or risk packing away the wrong one. CD-Rs are relatively fragile; one fat scratch and your data is lost.
- DVD-R
- Same pros and cons as CD-R, except they hold much more data but are not as widely available as USB slots.
- Free webmail account (Yahoo! Mail, Gmail, Hotmail, etc.)
- Pros: access your data from any computer with Internet access. No physical media to lose or destroy.
- Cons: it can take a long time to store or retrieve your data. Not every computer has Internet access. Your files may be larger than your webmail account can hold. If your webmail company is also destroyed in the disaster, you’re out of luck.
Remember, don’t forget to store a copy of the encryption program you’re using along with the encrypted data itself! Although you can always download another copy off the Internet, that may be inconvenient (especially if you don’t remember what it’s called because you just watched your house burn down and you’re under extreme duress).
Also, nothing says you can’t use more than one option. Just don’t forget to update all of them whenever you add more information.
Whichever you choose, it’s not a bad idea to store any physical media with your regular survival kit. If disaster strikes, you’re more likely to remember to grab your knife and matches than a CD-R or keychain drive.
The List
Store small amounts of information in a text file using an editor like Notepad (on Windows). Do not store it in a Word document! Believe it or not, many computers don’t have an office suite installed on them, and you’d be seriously limiting your access options at a time when you can least afford it.
When scanning documents, set the resolution to at least 125DPI (200 is preferable); greyscale (instead of color) is fine and will use less space). Use at least 300 for photos. Don’t just blindly turn your scanner to its highest setting, though, or you’ll never get all of your documents to fit onto your media.
- Employment
- Current resume
- Examples of your work
- High school and/or college diplomas
- Letters of recommendation
- References
- Financial
- Bank/investment accounts
- Credit card numbers and expiration dates
- Loan accounts
- Insurance policy numbers
- Contact numbers for all of the companies above!
- Identification
- Baptism/dedication certificates
- Birth certificates
- Driver’s license
- Family photos (also important for morale!)
- Fingerprints
- Marriage certificate
- Passport
- Tax returns
- Voice recordings
- Medical
- Dental records
- Disease records
- Immunization records
- X-rays
- Property
- Deeds and titles
- Wills
- Contact information for lots of friends and relatives, preferably spread over a large geographical area so that they’re not all affected by the same disaster you’re fleeing
Summary
That list is pretty long and odds are you’ll never need it. However, if you do, won’t you wish you’d taken the time to get all this information together? Once you’ve managed to gather it, maintenance should be a snap — just make a new zip archive, encrypt it, and replace your old copy with the new one.
Just remember the basics:
- Pick one or two of the most durable media that can hold all of your information.
- Don’t trust the built in Zip encryption.
- Don’t trust the built-in USB keychain drive encryption.
- Don’t ever put your unencrypted data onto your backup media unless you have to.
- Include an (unencrypted) copy of your encryption program’s installer, or a standalone version that can be run directly from your storage media.
- Also include a copy of WinZip or another file extraction utility. Older versions of Windows don’t have that functionality built in.
- Keep current!
If you do happen to be affected by a local disaster, this information could be incredibly useful. Think about how impressed an interviewer would be to find out that you brought your resume and work samples with you. Imagine how glad the police would be to get a high-quality picture of missing family members. You buy insurance for your house and cars, right? Think of this as cheap insurance for your way of life.