apple

    Never doubt that Apple is the master of packaging. My replacement credit card came in the mail today in this unnecessarily beautiful wrapper.

    A slightly off-white heavy stock envelope with rounded corners and an embossed Apple logo.

    The envelope itself has an NFC chip. You touch your phone to it to activate the card inside.

    A rainbow-colored cardboard sleeve with a titanium credit card nestled inside a perfectly-sized cutout.

    For Science™ I read the NFC with my Flipper Zero. It didn’t seem to contain any personal information. My guess is it’s a code that the phone interprets as “open the Wallet app and activate that credit card we told you was on the way”.

    On the subject of annoying iOS bugs…

    iOS wishes to correct my spelling of “annoying” as “snnoying”.

    I found and reported a bug in Apple’s new “Quartiles” game:

    • Tap “ab cd ef”.
    • Click the checkmark. The tiles at the top turn red because it’s a bad guess.
    • Quickly tap “ab”.
    • “ef” will be selected.

    Not a world-ender yet still so annoying.

    Little Snitch 6 came out yesterday with many quality of life improvements.

    It’s always the first app I install on a new Mac. New versions are no-brainer upgrades for me. I still wish it had a way to sync rulesets between Macs so that I don’t have to train each one independently.

    Apple: "What's a professional?"

    Apple announced their new iPad Pro and I couldn’t care less. The hardware itself is brilliant, yet Apple insists on artificially limiting what you can do with it for reasons I don’t understand. A “pro” device would let me run Mac-style apps like Nova and a real local terminal. It would let me compile and run the software I write when Shortcuts scripting isn’t good enough. It would be more like a hyper-portable MacBook for doing things that don’t require a heavier and more powerful computer, and less like a giant iPhone that gives me free rein of a walled garden.

    I bought a 2018 iPad Pro 13" when they were released and used it constantly. It was overpowered for the software available to run on it, to the point that my kid in college still uses it for classwork today. The hardware was never the limiting factor in what I could do with it. I finally replaced it last summer with a MacBook Air that’s worse for my wants and needs in every way but one: Apple’s OS for Macs lets me do the professional things that the as-powerful iPad can’t do. Apple ran an ad when that iPad Pro came out, asking “what’s a computer?” I wish Apple would ask themselves, “what’s a professional?”

    My vision for the iPad doesn’t align with Apple’s. That’s OK. They know their target market. They’ll still sell a gazillion of these.

    Just not to me.

    What's my Apple Card balance?

    I spent 1 hour and 25 minutes on a call with Goldman Sachs about their mistakes on my Apple Card statement. It’s not resolved but I think we’re finally making progress.

    I’m a stickler about reconciling my monthly account statements. My dad taught me how to balance a checkbook when I was a kid and I’m diligent about that. This was the first time I’ve ever been unable to make sense of a statement. The process normally looks like this:

    1. Start with last month’s balance.
    2. Subtract any money you paid toward that balance.
    3. Add any new transactions.
    4. Add any fees and interest.
    5. Compare the result to what the bank says your new closing balance is, and if it’s not an exact match, go back to the beginning until you find the missing piece.

    Last month’s Apple Card statement worked like that. So did the month before that. And the month before that, all the way back 5 years. This month they threw a twist:

    1. Start with last month’s balance, $1000.001.
    2. Subtract the $500.00 payment I made.
    3. Add $100.00 in new transactions.
    4. Add $50 in fees and interest.
    5. My arithmetic came out to a new balance of $650. Goldman Sachs computed my new balance as $425.

    However I juggled the numbers, I couldn’t reproduce their result. I gave up and contacted the support chat. That was useless. The conversation went like this:

    Me: There’s a problem with my statement.
    Them: Your balance is $425! Is there anything else I can help you with? disconnect
    Me: reconnecting There’s a problem with my statement.
    Them: Oh no! It looks like that’s $425. Have a nice day! disconnect

    I asked them to escalate, which resulted in someone sending me an email like:

    Here’s how we resolved your case: Start with $1000.00. Now, the moon weighs more than a duck, so carry the 5 and you get $893. Add the length of the Titanic and subtract purple. That’s $425. Share and enjoy!

    Today I called them and repeated “talk to a human” into the phone tree until it connected me to a person. This time I got to explain my situation to a sentient being, who went off to repeat my calculations before uttering those magic tech support words: “huh, that’s strange.” It sure is! The agent was able to reproduce my math and couldn’t figure out how to compute Goldman Sachs’s balance. I can’t exaggerate the relief I felt. I’m not alone. It’s not my imagination or inability to add a few numbers together.

    Although we haven’t fixed the problem, a thinking person wrote up my problem and opened an official inquiry for me. I’m optimistic.

    And don’t waste your time on Apple Card’s online chat. Nothing good comes from it.


    1. All numbers are fictional for storytelling purposes. ↩︎

    One Pill Can Kill

    I’ve seen things that looked like ads for apps in the iOS App Store. Today, I saw an ad for something else altogether. It’s a public service announcement warning viewers about potentially lethal fake prescription pills:

    One Pill Can Kill

    That’s a good thing to warn people about. However, it couldn’t be more out of place between the regular listings for games and useful apps. This is the app store, not a random website. And a PSA is one thing. The first time I see a commercial ad for a non-app thing here, I’ll probably have to buy a new phone to replace the one I’m likely to throw out my window.

    macOS 14 Sonoma is out, and mostly OK

    Apple release macOS 14 Sonoma today. I always install the major OS beta versions on my work Mac when they’re first released, to see if anything critical breaks before it affects my coworkers. That happens sometimes, like when macOS 11 Big Sur deprecated kernel extensions and affected some software we used. Sonoma and its 1st-party apps were in good shape from the start.

    I stumbled across a few glitches with 3rd-party software:

    Summary: Sonoma is a good upgrade and I’ve installed it on my Macs. You may need to upgrade some of your other software at the same time.

    Apple won't totally block unwanted emails

    Apple’s email apps and services don’t allow users to completely block senders. If someone is sending you messages you don’t want to receive, tough. You’re going to get them.

    The iCloud.com website’s Mail app doesn’t have a sender block mechanism. Instead, it offers a way to create rules based on each message’s attributes, such as its sender. Rules support these actions:

    • Move to Folder
    • Move to Trash
    • Forward to
    • Mark as Read
    • Move to Folder and Mark as Read
    • Move to Trash and Mark as Read
    • Forward to an Email Address and Mark as Read

    None of those actions are the same as bouncing or silently discarding an email. At most, you can have the email sent to your Trash folder.

    Mail.app on a Mac allows you to mark senders as “blocked”. You can configure Mail.app’s junk mail filters to either “Mark [their message] as blocked mail, but leave it in my Inbox” or “Move it to the Trash”. Again, you can’t bounce or discard it.

    I tried to be clever and write an AppleScript program to delete messages from my Mac’s Trash folder. That was a dead end because AppleScript’s idea of deleting an email is moving it to Trash, even if it’s already in there. Neither does it offer a way to automatically empty the trash.

    Apple, this is disappointing. If I’m blocking someone, I don’t want to hear from them at all, ever. It’s not enough to send their messages to the Trash folder. I don’t want them to be in my email account at all.

    Not Upgrading for Stage Manager

    Apple’s iPadOS 16 features a new multitasking mechanism called Stage Manager, but only on very new iPad models equipped with Apple’s M1 CPU. The ludicrous reason Apple gave for this limitation is that the recent M1 chip is the first iPad CPU capable of using swap space.

    If you listen quietly, you can hear millions of computer science graduates rolling their eyes at that ridiculous excuse. Far less capable computers have supported swap space for decades, and I won’t bother going into details of how nervy Apple’s claim is. Admit it, gang: you want to give people a reason to buy new hardware to use the shiny new feature. I could respect an honest explanation that doesn’t insult my intelligence.

    But because of this dishonesty, I’m holding onto my still-overpowered 2018 iPad Pro until it dies, or until Apple releases a feature I can’t live without. If there were a legitimate technical reason to hold back new features on older hardware, I might use that as a reason to upgrade. Now, though, I don’t trust Apple not to pull the same trick next year. If I bought a 2022 iPad Pro because of this, and next year they released a feature in iPadOS 17 that would only work on 2023 models for another contrived reason, I’d be livid.

    Apple’s trick isn’t going to make me upgrade more often, but less often. I’m not risking my hard-earned money until I have to.

    Don't buy a cheap Apple Watch Series 3

    Don’t buy an Apple Watch Series 3. Many recent articles enthuse about its current wonderfully low prices, but it’s a trap. The Series 3 is slow, technologically obsolete, and unsupported by the upcoming watchOS 9. Anyone buying it as their first Apple Watch will be disappointed by the awful performance.

    I could only recommend it for someone who broke their newer Apple Watch, wants something to tide them over until the new Series 8 is released, and can recycle it or donate it to someone who’d be OK with a dead-end device.

    AirTag lost its way

    Apple released their new AirTag product six months ago, and as competent as it is for finding lost gear, Apple’s done everything possible to hamstring the little device to make it frustrating to use.

    The product idea is simple: you buy one and attach it to something you don’t want to misplace, like your car keys. Then you can use your iPhone to locate that thing when you inevitably misplace it. For that one specific use case, and if you live alone, AirTag is magical. The “Find My” app tells you how far and in what direction the lost device is so that you can walk right up to it. I’ve owned and used various Tile devices before, and AirTags are easier to use and work better. From a hardware standpoint, I can’t imagine what I’d improve about them. However, Apple’s software decisions are constraining the lovely hardware to the point that I don’t want to use it anymore.

    All of AirTag’s problems come down to a single issue: Apple is afraid that someone will use an AirTag to stalk another person, to the point that they’ve deliberately encumbered it to near uselessness:

    • If your phone detects that an AirTag is moving around with you, and its owner isn’t nearby, then the phone will warn you about it. That’s great if you’re being stalked, but terrible if it’s notifying a thief that there’s a tag in your backpack that they’ve just stolen.
    • Inexplicably, Family Sharing doesn’t work for AirTags. I can’t help my wife find her car keys, even though we’re already using the “Find My” app to share our locations. If someone were coercing me to carry an AirTag around so they could track me, they could also coerce me into sharing my location with them through that same app.
    • If I grab my wife’s keys for a quick trip to the grocery store, her AirTag on them will start beeping to alert me to its presence. That’s just silly; see the previous point.
    • The latest iOS beta lets you manually scan for hidden AirTags, sure to be a favorite must-have feature among thieves.

    Apple claims that AirTags are meant for lost items, not stolen ones, but that’s a smokescreen for the fact that they haven’t figured out how to reconcile privacy with having the things work as expected. Despite their claims, of course they’re for recovering stolen items! If it weren’t for the disastrous software features, they’d be perfect for tracking down a purse thief or the person who stole your kid’s bike. Apple is selling a soup spoon, then acting shocked and dismayed when someone wants to use it to eat stew. If Apple can’t see why someone would naturally want to use an AirTag to get stolen things back, then that’s a telling failure of their imagination.

    Anti-tracking features are good. No one wants to enable stalkers and I don’t blame Apple for that. However, they’re so paralyzed by even the possibility that someone might use an AirTag in a bad way that they’ve made it useless for a bunch of good ways. If Apple’s going to lock it down this hard, they shouldn’t have bothered releasing AirTag to the public. It would have been far less frustrating if it had never left the design lab.

    I wanted to love AirTags, but I regret my purchases. It could have been a wonderful little gadget had Apple defined it by its possibilities instead of its limitations. I won’t be buying more.

    Unusual shipping fail from Apple

    I ordered a couple of Apple AirTags and keychain holders this weekend, and UPS dropped the package off on my doorstep a few minutes ago. The outer box had not been sealed in any way — no glue, tape, or anything:

    Unsealed box from Apple

    The packages inside were bent on arrival, likely from the warehouse:

    Inner boxes were damaged in packing

    I hope this is an exception. If I were a new Apple customer, I’d be unimpressed with their vaunted first impression.

    Wisdom of the ages

    The iOS App Store recommended that I check out a meditation app named “Calm”, featuring “Wisdom from Shawn and Camila”. Shawn is 22 years old; Camila is 24.

    "Wisdom from Shawn and Camila", 2 people in their very early 20s

    With due respect, Apple, I’m not expecting a lot of wisdom from a couple younger than the sweater I’m wearing.

    There are many wonderful things youth can bring. Experience of a life long-lived is not one of them. I don’t want to sound curmudgeonly, but they’re 22 and 24, and I expect they’ll have little to offer on mid-career thoughts, or watching one’s parents grow older, or coming to grips with mortality. Like, the guy’s been quarantined for the majority of the time it’s been legal for him to drink.

    Review: Jellycuts

    Jellycuts for iOS and iPadOS is 2 things:

    1. A text-based language for writing Shortcuts,
    2. A compiler that turns the text language into “real” Shortcuts, and
    3. An IDE for writing the language.

    As a programmer, this is super exciting to me because it feels like I spend too much time fighting against the limitations of the visual language. Now I can use the programming tools I work with every day to write my little applets, and store them in version control so that I can track changes and roll back mistakes.

    It’s not a perfect system as the design of the Shortcuts app means that getting the compiled code into it is a little convoluted (but automated and as smooth as possible). That’s on Apple, though, and not Jellycuts. The author has done an amazing job with the tools available to them.

    Jellycuts is a game changer. I haven’t gotten far with it yet, but if it works as promised on larger projects, I see it becoming the way I write Shortcuts. Get it at https://apps.apple.com/us/app/jellycuts/id1522625245.

    Review: Apple Fitness+

    I’ve been using Apple’s Fitness+ service since it came available. It’s still a young product and has lots of room to improve, but its fundamentals are solid. This is what I like and dislike about it.

    What I like: doing the exercises

    First, the workouts themselves are excellent. They offer exercises I’m not used to, and I’ve found that working with a trainer, even a pre-recorded one that isn’t talking to me personally, motivates me to push harder than I do when I’m working out alone. At the end of a workout I’m exhausted, and the next day my body reminds me that I did something difficult.

    This is the litmus test, after all. A trainer that doesn’t challenge and doesn’t push me harder than I would push myself isn’t much of a trainer. Fitness+ meets this requirement in spades.

    Second, Fitness+ has a lot of workouts. When it’s time to use one, I want help picking one that’s appropriate to me. The app’s “discoverability” is… decent:

    • I pick a type of workout (like strength, core, or yoga) I’d like to try, and use the filter to choose a length of time I’d like to work out. I want to do strength training for 20 minutes? Here’s a list.
    • From that list I choose a trainer. This is convenient if there’s one I like and I want to see more of their workouts, but not as helpful for choosing between them. The app makes the trainers’ biographies available but I was overwhelmed with choices the first time.

    If I know what workout I want to do, and which trainer I want to work with, Fitness+ is fine.

    What I don’t like: finding the exercises

    But that discoverability is barely sufficient, and leads to my sole criticism. Fitness+ could and should help me find new workouts that are appropriate for me personally, and today it doesn’t.

    Within selections, the main differentiator in a screenful of similar-seeming workouts is the genre of background music. I know people may have strong preferences here but I don’t. As of writing there are 15 “Strength with Gregg” workouts. At a glance, I can’t tell the difference between them. Every screenshot shows exercises for both upper and lower body, even though most workouts target certain muscles. Navigating through each available workout exposes that information but it’s a lot of work when I’m ready to start lifting weights and would rather lift than investigate. Better titles like “Leg Strength with Gregg” would help a lot here.

    There’s not an option to like or dislike workouts. I want a recommendation system like Apple Music’s: tell me what I might like based on what I’ve enjoyed, not just what’s similar to what I did last time.

    Descriptions of workouts are more vague than they should be. For example, one reads “the focus of this workout is upper body, with a new element added to each move as you go.” But what part of my upper body? I want to know:

    • Which exercises a workout includes. If my shoulder hurts, I might want to skip lateral raises.
    • Which muscles groups it exercises. Sometimes I’d like to target specific areas like glutes or biceps or shoulders or quads.

    If Fitness+ had filters that let me specify that I’d like to work my triceps and lats for 20 minutes, or find one that includes hammer curls because that sounds good today, I’d use it a lot.

    Workouts need more audio cues. I spend a lot of effort trying to look at the TV so I can pace myself with the trainer, and would like a consistent signal to complete a rep. I wish the producer would add a chime or beep after each movement so that I could follow along without contorting to see the screen.

    Finally, many other Apple apps use Siri to power smart recommendations. Putting all the above together, I’d like to see a Fitness+ notification like “you skipped leg day. Here’s a good leg workout you’ll going to like.” It’s easy to rationalize skipping a workout, but harder when someone’s reminding you that you’ve been a couch potato and giving you personalized suggestions for changing that.

    Summary

    It’s tricky to find an exercise I want in Fitness+, but that’s because there are so very many excellent ones to choose from. And that’s the important part: once I find workouts I like, they motivate me to work harder than I would on my own. I’ve found the accountability, even if it’s to someone who can’t see me and who I’ll never meet, to keep me moving. I am stronger and healthier for using the app than I would be without it.

    Apple Fitness+ may have some rough edges, but for a new service that’s still improving, I’m into it.

    Applecareless

    While I almost never buy extended warranties, conventional wisdom is that you should always buy AppleCare for an Apple laptop. You have up to a year after buying your laptop to purchase the extended coverage. At a high level, you’re basically buying an insurance policy for a piece of hardware with a specific serial number. Why does Apple make this so difficult?

    I bought my MacBook Pro directly from Apple’s website. Here’s how AppleCare purchase should work:

    • I log in to their store website.
    • I view my order history and find my laptop.
    • Apple has my MacBook Pro’s serial number on file with this order, and they also have a list of equipment covered by AppleCare. Since my laptop isn’t already covered, the site displays a “Buy AppleCare” button next to it.
    • I click the “Buy AppleCare” button, choose to use my billing information that Apple already has on file, and click “Buy it now”.
    • I get a confirmation email and move on to other things.

    A lot of people bought their laptops through other sources, like local dealers, chain retail stores, and so on. Since Apple might not have any record of their purchase, here’s how that process should work:

    • A customer visits Apple’s store website.
    • Under “Mac Accessories”, they click “AppleCare”.
    • They see a new form titled “What’s your Mac’s serial number?” and a link to how to find that information.
    • When the user enters their serial number, the website looks up that part information and selects the appropriate AppleCare plan for their hardware.
    • They add the plan to their cart and check out normally.
    • The user gets a confirmation email and moves on to other things.

    In reality, the process is far less polished and, well, un-Apple-like:

    • I logged into their store website and looked for a process like the one I described above.
    • When that failed to materialize, I browsed around until I found the AppleCare plans in the store.
    • After some rooting around, I found the correct plan and added it to my cart.
    • I was given the option of picking my plan up in an Apple Store or having it mailed to me. Wait, what? Pickup? Mail? For a warranty? Fine — mail it.
    • After a couple of days, my AppleCare plan arrived in the mail. It came in a large cardboard box with a tiny cardboard box inside it. The tiny box contained some printed material and a registration number, but no Apple stickers or anything else I’d actually want.
    • Per instructions, I went to a separate section of the Apple website and entered my laptop’s serial number (which they already have on file from when I bought it last year!) and the AppleCare registration number (which they already have on file from when I bought it a few days earlier!).
    • I agreed to the Terms of Service, which were identical to the now-completely-unnecessary printed copy that came in the box.
    • After submitting those numbers, Apple asked if I wanted my coverage certificate sent by email or by postal service. “Telegraph” and “carrier pigeon” were not available options, so I chose email.
    • Apple informed me that I’d successfully completed my application, that my registration was now in progress, and that I would receive my certificate when they had finished verifying my registration.
    • That was over 12 hours ago. I didn’t get any kind of confirmation email, but my browser history helped me find the status page so I could check in on it today. It’s still stuck at “Registration in progress”, presumably while Gertrude from Accounts finds my punchcard in the filing cabinet.

    I’d probably shrug the ordeal off if I were dealing with Best Buy, Microsoft, or some other company not known for their customer service. But Apple? This was the opposite of the kind of experience they usually provide and I’m disappointed that the process was so clumsy.