kids
- If it’s on the Internet, everyone can see it. No exceptions. Everyone. I’m saying this as one of the guys who helped make the Internet. Trust me on this one.
- Do not put stuff on the Internet if you don’t want everyone to see it.
- Before you put stuff on the Internet, imagine who the worst possible person to see it in the entire world would be. What if your teacher read it? What if your mom or dad saw the picture? If the answer is “oh, wow, that would really suck”, then don’t put it on the Internet.
- If it’s on a computer or cell phone or iPad, it’s on the Internet. You wouldn’t believe how many ways there are for a note or photo to get automatically backed up or copied around to some computer somewhere that you don’t have any control over.
- This one is mainly (but not only) for girls: odds are, some day he won’t be your boyfriend anymore. Do you want a pissed off ex-boyfriend to have “those” pictures to share at school?
- Don’t. Reuse. Your passwords. I read the news stories you don’t, the ones about how some instant messaging company had their password database hacked into and stolen. That means someone has a whole list like “CoolKid23 uses the password MyDogStinks”, and then they go around to other websites and try to log in with those same usernames and passwords. Make up different passwords for each website and chat program you use. Write them down on a piece of paper and leave it at home if you have to, or use a “password manager” program to do it for you. Yes, I know this sounds paranoid and geeky. But I’m telling you this with my hand on my heart: this is important. It’s something you have to do. It’s a pain in the butt, but that’s just the way it is.
- When our daughters were sitting on the ground talking to their coach, she was explaining terms like “offense”, “defense”, and “sportsmanship”. I know you thought she should have been teaching them how to play baseball (because you said so firmly and repeatedly), but I’m certain she meant well.
- You were rather bothered that the coach didn’t teach the girls how to bat by lifting their front foot to swing harder. Rest assured, should our daughters advance beyond the first week of girls’ 8-year-old teeball, their future coaches will show them this technique.
- Although you and I are past our athletic primes and the bases seem farther apart than they used to, I don’t think it really takes fifteen seconds to run from each base to the next. In fact, I’m fairly positive I could hop that fast with a broken ankle. I only mention this specifically because you sounded quite authoritative as you explained this to your son and everyone else on our bleachers, and may wish to update your calculations.
Taking one for the team
Scene: Nick’s intermediate league baseball game.
Bottom of the last inning. Other team at bat. 2 outs. 2 on base. Winning hitter at bat. Fly to right field. Nick makes a beautiful diving catch and comes up with the ball, ending the game for his team to win…
…then runs off the field holding his arm.
One rushed trip to the office for x-rays later, and it’s confirmed: he broke the same wrist that he broke last year when he fell off his skateboard.
I’ll hand it to the kid: he plays hard. If you’re going to get hurt, you may as well do it heroically.
Electronics Kit for my Kids
Cory Doctorow mentioned that Elenco makes a perfect copy of the Radio Shack 200-in-One electronics kit. I hadn’t read to the end of his article before I’d placed an order.
It’s not an exaggeration to say this kit pushed me into my career. I got the original Radio Shack version for Christmas one year when I was a kid, and on rainy days I’d work my way through the book of kid-friendly projects. Even though I usually didn’t understand how they worked, I got brave enough to test ideas like “I wonder if I could wire a light bulb into this section and have it still work?” and “what happens if I replace this with a smaller resistor?” I didn’t know what ohms or farads were, but got an intuitive feel for which parts did what. I lost any fear of experimenting and that willingness to try new things has served me well.
I don’t know if my kids will love this little kit as much as I did. I’m not going to push it — that’s for them to decide. However, a part of me hopes they have even half the fun I got from it.
What I Tell My Kids About The Internet
Hi kid! You don’t know me, but I’m one of those “Internet expert” kind of guys they interview when something bad happens. I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say that I make big computer systems for a living and I know how they work.
I’m not your mom or dad, or a teacher, or your church leader, or your coach, or a cop. I don’t know you, either, and honestly, I don’t care about you personally so much that I’d want to scare you or exaggerate things or otherwise lie to you.
I love the Internet, and I’m pretty proud of this amazing place that my friends and I have built. There’s a lot of great stuff on it, and I truly think it’s one of the best things that people from all over the world have ever come together to create. I think we did a pretty good job, for the most part.
The thing is, it’s also easy for bad things to happen on the Internet. I’m not talking about stuff like child predators or terrorists or hackers trying to steal your iTunes credits. Yeah, those things exist. But yes, the news exaggerates them a lot to scare you and to make you want to watch more of the news (see how that works?). I don’t want to do that. The truth is, you’re way more likely to have trouble from the wrong people seeing things you’ve written or pictures you’ve sent than you are from any Stranger Danger.
Social networks are awesome. I use the same ones you do - and some that you don’t even know about yet - to talk to my friends the same way you talk to yours. I think they’re great. However. Every single one of them tells the same lie: that you can click a “keep all my stuff private!” checkbox and all your stuff will stay private. If you only hear one thing I’ve said today, let it be this:
They. Are. Lying.
Oh, they don’t mean to. The people who made Facebook and Twitter and WhatsApp are smart people who try awfully hard to do a good job. However, making giant computer systems like that is super difficult and it only takes one itty bitty mistake in a giant tangle of a million moving pieces for it all to break. When you see a setting like “only share this with my friends”, what it really means is “should we try to keep this private and hope that we did everything 100% correct and didn’t screw something up somewhere?”
But none of that really matters anyway, not when your “friend” can take a screenshot of your messages on their phone. Say you just told your BFF about your crush. You checked the little “don’t share this!” box and the computer guys did their job and the privacy stuff works just like it’s supposed to. And because they think it’s funny, your BFF clicks the buttons to take a screenshot so they can tease you about it later. Guess what: now there’s another copy of your message, but this one doesn’t have that little “don’t share this!” box next to it.
The rule in computing is “if you can read it, you can copy it”. There are some smart people who waste their time trying to break that rule so that you can’t make copies of movies or music or video games, but, well… did you pay for every one of those songs on your iPhone? Yeah, thought so. That’s what I mean, though. If it’s easy to copy songs and movies and video games, how hard is it to copy a screenshot of your text message conversation or - ahem - one of “those” pictures?
So after all that, here’s what I tell my own kids:
Have I scared you? If I did, I’m sorry. There are people who want to scare you because that’s how they think they can get you to listen. I’m not one of them. But I do want to tell you the truth about how things on the Internet actually work. This is important stuff, and it’s only going to get more important as we share more of our lives with our friends on the Internet.
I’m still proud of this great big network we’ve built, and I use it every day of my life. The Internet has a lot of exciting things to offer. Use them and have fun! Just be smart, and be a little suspicious before you send a message or a picture. Don’t share the things you don’t want the whole world to see.
OK? OK. Glad we had this talk. Now do your homework.
Baseball Chatter
Hi! You’re the guy who sat behind me at my 8-year-old daughter’s teeball practice. I thought you’d want to know that you were talking loudly enough for everyone to hear you, including the coaches. I mean, we could all tell that’s why you were bitching so loudly the whole time, and I figured you’d be happy that you were heard.
Now, I’m sure you’re an expert in the game. You definitely sounded like it from 30 feet away! Still, I thought perhaps you might appreciate a few clarifications:
While I’m sincerely honored to have been the recipient of your shared wisdom, I respectfully request that during future practices you endeavor to please shut up and watch our little girls play. Thanks!
Nebraska Wants To Adopt Your Kids
Senator Brad Ashford of Omaha has proposed criminalizing the act of keeping your kids home from school. This is abhorrent for many reasons, and should be withdrawn from consideration immediately.
Deputy Douglas County Attorney Kim Hawekotte and Ralston Public Schools social worker Steve Snodgrass, both active in truancy prevention in the Omaha area, said the proposed language change will make it easier for schools to identify students who are being improperly excused.
“By taking that sentence out,” Hawekotte said, “the schools have to react when a youth isn’t in school, no matter what the reason. You want the system to kick into place to make that determination.”
No, Ms. Hawekotte: you want the system to kick in. Our kids rarely miss school for non-medical reasons. However, sometimes we take advantage of educational opportunities that require a day or two of absence. As parents, this is our privilege and responsibility. It is not your job to second-guess our decisions.
As introduced, LB 1159 would get law enforcement, including the county attorney, involved earlier by making it an infraction to be the parent of a truant child. The first offense would prompt a $50 fine, the second, $100. The third would be considered a Class III misdemeanor, punishable by up to three months of jail time and a $500 fine.
We are considering taking a long weekend to Mt. Rushmore or Yellowstone National Park near the end of the school year. For various reasons, we might possibly have to make that trip while class is still in session. Mr. Ashford, your plan would require our school system to investigate us as criminals and fine us for teaching our kids first-hand about our country’s history, geology, and geography. Will you be passing a bill to take our kids on an equivalent field trip? Or will they simply miss out on that experience because likeminded senators deem themselves better parents to our kids than we are?
“If you’re not in school, you’re not learning,” said Ashford of Omaha, chairman of the Legislature’s Judiciary Committee.
Mr. Ashford, that’s one of the most offensively ignorant things I’ve read in a while. Formal education is critically important, but I assure you that my children learn outside the classroom. From teaching my kids to write computer programs, to learning French together as a family, to taking trips to national monuments and museums, they are learning.
I don’t want to downplay the need for kids to attend school as required, but completely reject your asinine assertion that their education ends when I pick them up from school.
The solution is simple: don’t fix what’s not broken, especially when the fix would cause even more problems. If a child is suspected of truancy, investigate that child. If a school system is unable or unwilling to do so, then address that problem. Don’t create an assumption of guilt every time a child misses school, though. You are not my kids’ parent. I am. Irk you though it may, I know more about what’s best for them than you do.
This bill puts State above Parent. Kill it.
Long Weekends
Summer’s upon us again. The kids just got out of school on Wednesday, which reminded me that my last post was to say that the kids were just starting back and I haven’t said a word since then. Anyway, we have them signed up for pretty much every summer sport offered and Gabby’s getting ready to start piano lessons, so they’ll be keeping pretty busy.
Jen and I have been mulching the flower gardens, to the tune of about one pickup load of mulch per weekend. We’ve put down about 4 tons now, and I think we’re finally getting to the end of it. Which is good. Because at this point, if I never move another handful of the stuff, that’ll be fine by me.
Up In The Morning And Out To School
Well, it’s officially school time again. Gabby and Ari started back yesterday, and Jake went this morning for the first time.
Gabby seemed really happy. She got in line with her friends and immediately jumped back into the swing of things.
When we took Ari into the Montessori preschool, she ran off to play with the other kids as if she’d been there all along. When I picked her up in the afternoon, she told me that she’d learned how to read (so I suppose that they’ll cover math today, and maybe start on biology next Monday).
Jake looked a little unsure this morning, but he was mostly smiling as he lined up and walked to class. I just wish I’d remembered to bring his bookbag and a camera. These are the things that happen when I’m the one who gets the kids ready for school. At least they were fed, dressed and clean.
Running Before Walking
The kids started swimming lessons yesterday. They all had a great time and left smiling. As I was putting Jake to bed, I asked him about his day:
Me: What was your favorite part of swimming lessons?
Jake: Jumping off the diving board.
Me: Really?
Jake: Yeah. It was a little scary, though.
Me: Well, sometimes the most fun things are a little scary.
Jake: Yeah. (pause) I wish I’d done a back flip.
The Piano's Broken
We got a used piano a few months ago. After we cleaned it and put it where we wanted it, I played a few short songs (poorly). Throughout the rest of the day, we’d occasionally hear one of the kids hitting a few keys and laughing.
Several hours later, Jake came up to me with some bad news:
Jake: Daddy, I think the piano’s broken.
Me, alarmed: Why? What happened?
Jake, upset: I pressed all the keys, but it didn’t make the right music come out.
Our Bird Is Dead
Gabby was in the preschool at Christ Lutheran School, and her classroom had a caged parakeet. One day Gabby told me that their bird was dead. Since she was only three years old at the time, I didn’t think she knew what that meant, so I asked her about it:
Me: What do you mean, dead?
Gabby: I mean, the bird died.
Me: But what do you mean when you say that it died?
Gabby: It began to stink, so my teacher had to put it in a box and bury it.
Oh. I guess she knew what she was talking about after all.
They Were How Big?
Well, today was the big day — Jake and Ari had their tonsils removed. The doctor said Jake’s were nearly as large as golf balls, so the poor little guy had to have been miserable.
The operations went off without a hitch, and they’re both recovering nicely (if irritably) at home.