When I see the HH logo on clothing, my first thought is Harter House, a local butcher shop where I grew up. My second thought is Hamburger Helper, and I think that’s probably the correct answer.

“Challenge: Name the worst possible TV show you can imagine.”

This is what a dare looks like.

This is a copy-paste of a conversation I just had with my kid.

Kid: Can I get a ride home at like 10:15

Me: Yeah

Kid: Never mind im gonna be here late

Me: Oh, OK

Kid: Okay like can u do 10:17?

That’s still within the margin of error of when I was going to be there in the first place.

Girl Scout outside the grocery: Sir, would you like to buy some cookies?

Me: I’ll catch you on the way out.

Scout: We’re about to leave.

Me: OK, you talked me into it. My wife told me I’m not allowed to bring a bunch of these home, though.

Scout: What kind does she like? Get some of those and then she won’t mind!

And that’s how they got me.

My wife ordered a new shower curtain that is advertised as, quote, “waterproof”. I would hope so.

We’re dog sitting a chihuahua. I just had this conversation with their owners’ kitchen spybot:

Me: Dingus, Monday morning at 8AM, play “I Want a Dog” by Pet Shop Boys.

Spy: OK. Would you like me to make that your default alarm tone?

Me: …yes!

My wife: LOL

Don’t leave me alone with your electronics.

That’s one good looking butterfly.

This is what Hell looks like.

I prompted ChatGPT with: “Write a song I can sing to my son to get him awake and moving to get ready for school.”

It replied with:

Verse 1
Wake up, little sunshine
There’s a new day dawning
You’ve got a big adventure
It’s time to get moving

Chorus
Rise and shine, let’s go to school
Time to learn, time to grow
Put on your shoes, grab your bag
You’re ready to go

Verse 2
Stretch out your arms and legs
Take a deep breath and smile
You’ll make new friends today
And learn so much in a while

Chorus
Rise and shine, let’s go to school
Time to learn, time to grow
Put on your shoes, grab your bag
You’re ready to go

Bridge
The world is waiting for you
To see all that you can do
So let’s start this day together
And make it great, no matter the weather

Chorus
Rise and shine, let’s go to school
Time to learn, time to grow
Put on your shoes, grab your bag
You’re ready to go

Outro
Wake up, little sunshine
It’s time to start your day
With a bright new adventure
You’ll find your own way.

Said son, who is 15, seemed to appreciate me waking him up by belting this out in full operatic tenor. I’m almost sure of it, despite any shouting to the contrary.