In Nebraska, petitioners are gathering signatures for a ballot initiative that would remove all gender and race consideration from government hiring. This is a fairly polarizing issue and emotions run pretty high on both sides.

This morning I heard a radio ad attacking the petition, not because it was a bad idea or unjust or for any other debatable reason, but because the petition circulators might be convicted murderers. The ad said that if you sign, then you might be subject to identity theft, robbery, or worse.

Really. They said that. Never mind that all of the information you'd put on a petition is available in the phone book, or to anyone you've ever written a check to or used a credit card with.

In Nebraska's May 13 election, two Green Party candidates ran for Douglas County Commissioner, District 3. Between them, they received one vote. How stoned do you have to be before you forget to vote for yourself?

At least neither can accuse the other of splitting the election.

I'm voting for Sue Fuchtman for mayor of Norfolk. I know her personally, and she's the sort of intelligent, decent, detail-oriented person we should have making city decisions. The other candidates might be alright, but I'd rather see someone elected that I'm genuinely excited to have in office.

Vote for Sue. I will.

Global warming is real. Forget the arguments about what's causing it. Forget trying to figure out whether it's going to be good or bad. Forget wondering what should be done to stop it. The fact of the matter is that the Earth's atmosphere has been getting measurably warmer for quite a few years and shows every sign of continuing.

I don't remember when I first heard of global warming, but I do know that it became a political football soon afterward. Sadly, it seems like the issues around it have turned into a screaming match about whether it even exists. This is silly and needs to stop so that we can figure out what to do next.

I am not an atmospheric scientist. I'm pretty sure I don't even know any. I do follow science news rather closely, though, and it's become obvious to me that almost all scientists agree that the Earth is warmer now than it was a decade ago, that the decade before was even cooler, and that the average temperature has been trending upward.

Senator Brad Ashford of Omaha has proposed criminalizing the act of keeping your kids home from school. This is abhorrent for many reasons, and should be withdrawn from consideration immediately.

Deputy Douglas County Attorney Kim Hawekotte and Ralston Public Schools social worker Steve Snodgrass, both active in truancy prevention in the Omaha area, said the proposed language change will make it easier for schools to identify students who are being improperly excused.

"By taking that sentence out," Hawekotte said, "the schools have to react when a youth isn't in school, no matter what the reason. You want the system to kick into place to make that determination."

No, Ms. Hawekotte: you want the system to kick in.

Take a quiz to learn how your opinions match with those of the candidates. You might be surprised. I was.

When I hear someone described as "left-wing" or "right-wing", I cringe. You just can't lump someone into one of two categories. The Political Compass lumps them into one of four categories, so it's twice as good.

I've been dithering on whether I liked Mitt Romney. On one hand, he espouses traditional Republican values. On the other, he's a raging socialist who never met a big government program he didn't like. It was his own ad, though, that convinced me that he's a jerk.

His most recent ad against Mike Huckabee (who I also don't really like) compares the number of pardons each issued as governor. Mike pardoned 1,033 convicts; Mitt pardoned none. Now, I don't have a lot of sympathy for criminals, but is Romney asking us to believe that not one single convict had a legitimate, worthy request? Apparently that's not the case. An Iraq war veteran asked for a pardon for shooting his friend with a BB gun when he was 13 years old. He needed the pardon so that he could get a job as a police officer, but Romney denied the request. That's not being tough on crime - that's being an ass.

"I view this report as a warning signal that they had the program, they halted the program," Bush said. "The reason why it's a warning signal is they could restart it." -- Pres. George W. Bush referring to Iran's nuclear program

I've spent a lot of the last 7 years defending the president and trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. As of today, I officially give up. That quote just smacks of desperation: "OK, we know that they're not doing this bad thing anymore, but, but... that means that they could do it again!"

Mr. President, most people would see Iran's actions as a victory. You told them to stop building nuclear facilities and they they did. You won. Stop trying to spin this as an excuse to keep poking that hornet nest with a stick.

It's abundantly clear that Bill and Hillary Clinton have something to hide. Others have covered it more thoroughly than I could so I won't bother. However, one thing is especially strange: why do they have so many written, confidential communications in the first place?

It would take an archivist about 5 minutes to categorize all written messages that Jen and I have ever sent to each other into one of three stacks: holiday cards, errands, or shopping lists. I suspect that almost all families are like this. Rather than writing long letters to ourselves, we talk about things. That's why I find it so creepy and unusual that the Clintons apparently don't do that. Haven't they ever sat down at supper and discussed events and made plans instead of typing up memos? Are they really that different from every other family, and that clinically detached?

Bill and Hillary can keep their notes private if they want, although it makes them look horribly hypocritical for criticizing President Bush for classifying documents. Still, I think it's more than a little weird that they're so much more comfortable communicating by mail than face to face.

The Republican primaries are settling into a bleak wasteland of unappealing candidates. In a mad rush to appeal to "values voters", they're abandoning their core constituency of fiscal conservatives who are more interested in sound economic policy than their neighbors' bedrooms.

• Mitt Romney: The governor so liberal that even Massachusetts likes him. He somehow combined the Orwellian nanny state of socialized health care with the worst possible corporate pandering in order to force people who live in that state to pay for health insurance whether they want it or not. And then bragged about it. I truly don't care that he's a Mormon. I care very much that he's a jackass.
• John McCain: The Little Engine That Could. Undoubtedly a good man who truly loves his country, but just can't resist the urge to limit free speech when it's convenient to him.

I will probably never say this again, but Ernie Chambers is right. He demonstrated a gaping flaw in our legal system by suing God, therefore proving by reductio ad absurdum that we need some sane restrictions on lawsuits.

As proof that his plan is working, consider the local and national outrage he generated: "why, the man's insane! You can't sue God!" And yet, Mr. Chambers did exactly that, proving beyond all doubt that insanity rules the day with one clever demonstration of legal outrageousness.

Well done, Mr. Chambers. Well done.

Rational people ignore the Green Party because the Green Party is verifiably insane. For example, consider their $20 dollar per hour minimum wage. Don't believe me? Read on.

To quote from the Green Party USA platform:

"As a society, we should aid in his rehabilitation and welcome a new Don Imus back into the community without a permanent loss of his career in broadcasting. We further ask that NBC and the sponsors not to permanently ban Mr. Imus from his ability to bring hours of enjoyment to fans all over this country."

- What R.L. White, president of the NAACP Atlanta chapter, notably did not say a few months ago when Don Imus didn't kill any dogs

Mattel, we've been together a long time. We love each other. We raised children together. It's been good.

But things haven't gone so well lately. You know what I mean: the suspicions that you were seeing someone else, that you've been going to new places and never telling, that something was... different.